Why all the Pressure?

It's been said I put a lot of pressure on myself,  Generally speaking, I agree.  When the pressure's on, I function as if some catastrophic consequence is looming if I don't...what?  Show up on time? Clean my kitchen before I go to bed? Rigorously exercise? Say the right things?Be completely cool and cavalier under all this pressure?

Who is it that makes these demands of me? Who gets inside my head and says, I must be so disappointing to you - "you" being the nonexistent yet ever present observer of my life?

Here's where it hovers on a grander scale...

Due to the influx of constant correspondence (via text), and constant comparison (via all the rest of it), my definition of "life-long" friends has changed and become somewhat skewed.  When I'm in the company of friends who get regular texts from their other friends while we're together, I begin to feel one-dimensional.  Like, apparently I am not needed elsewhere. Truth is, I don't have friends I text daily (or even weekly), so I question if I qualify as life-long, since I'm not on anyone's most recents list.  And I can't even talk about how sad I get that I don't have girls I go on trips with... I mean, (via my social connections), doesn't everyone?

The pressure whispers, 'do I matter?'

Another area the pressure has me hamstrung is security.  It seems I should have had the good sense to project manage my home, make wise investments, and blaze through half my bucket list by now.  Oh, and buy health insurance I can actually use.  Knowing how abysmal my attempts at these have been, I muddle along, perceiving some unseen others as victors in life because they navigated the big stuff successfully and have the spoils to show for it.

The pressure whispers, 'my best years have been lost.'

Then there's the whole productivity/purpose thing.  I can waste hours (translation: days), sitting on a couch strategizing how to best execute my Next Big Thing, while supposedly everyone else is living their purpose driven life.  They're following their hearts and running their races, regardless of impediments.  Meanwhile, I feel trapped by the nothingness.  How did the stay their course, find their stride and realize their dreams?

The pressure whispers, 'why am I so incapable, so lame?'

This is the pressure I speak of.  Some may say, the lies I listen to.  When I'm in my right mind, having a good day, meaningful encounter, or simply taking a walk, I know these things aren't true.

We all struggle to find lasting friendship - to not be let down when "life-long" and "day to day" don't equate, and can logically grasp those are two very different concepts.  (and PS - traveling is expensive and more a function of socio-economics than it is friendship.)

No one feels completely secure.  Who could?  Life is crazy.  Those appearing more peaceful are those who place their trust in God, or, because they happen to be doing fairly well at the moment, themselves.  (But self is a very precarious trust-holder.)

Here's a little secret:  every speaker/writer/dream-maker desperately hopes that what they're saying/writing/doing matters to someone, somewhere.  (And lest we fail to acknowledge, words are forever stored in that elusive "cloud" so perhaps the fewer attached to our name, the better.)

It's time to take the pressure off.

This is yet another reason I have been enamored with the humanity of Christ.  When I recall, "he was tempted in every way as I was, yet without sin", I forget he had people following him around all day long, every day, for at least three years.  I forget he had an actual audience.

Talk about pressure.

Given he was exposed to similar struggles as I, He must have wondered if his life-long friends would be there for him in his day to day; wondered if he'd managed each sacred moment completely; wondered if he was making an earthly difference.

That doesn't make him less God, but more human - and he was fully both.

His life was lived in perfect balance; the ideal blend of friendship and solitude, intention and interruption, purpose without the striving.

And then, the sweet exchange:  His life well lived, for mine.

Christ in me, the hope of glory, silenced the audience.

So why all the pressure?

~elizabeth (Liz) d.

Instructions

I love IKEA. And not just because of low prices, modern styles and the smell of cinnamon rolls at the checkout lane. I love IKEA because I have an affinity for ready-to-assemble furniture. I’m not kidding. Some may cringe or have heart palpitations at the thought of such a task, but not me. I say bring it on.

My love is two-fold: having a picture of what something is supposed to look like, and having explicit directions on how to get there. With confidence, I can know that if something didn’t turn as expected, it is merely because I missed a step. And a solution is as easy as retracing my moves and completing the direction correctly. It’s that simple.

I wish life were like that. Imagine if we were given a complete set of instructions on how to assemble events and things that happen to us. If only we could put together a beautiful and sturdy life structure with an Allen wrench (the crooked tool that comes with every piece of IKEA furniture) and good twist of the wrist.

Sometimes I wish I had a picture of how life was supposed to turn out. A promise that everything would be fine in the end, as long as I continue to make the right choices. It would be helpful to know that as long as I do A, followed by B, then C would surely happen. If the directions were followed exactly, then I should be good to go.

But here is the thing, that’s not how God works. God has been teaching me lately that His love for us is so much bigger than that. He loves us far more than we could ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20), and God’s plan for us far exceeds anything we can come up with on our own (Isaiah 55:8).

And unlike my IKEA bookshelf directions, God doesn’t show everything to us at once. Psalm 119:105 says “God’s word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path.” A light doesn’t reveal the end of a trail; but rather, only a few steps in front of the traveller. You must step out in faith in order to see further down the path.

It is during those moments of uncertainty that we can choose to trust in God. That’s what He wants from us. He wants us to let go of OUR plan and simply draw near to Him. (Mathew 11:28).

How do we do that? Maybe spend five minutes in prayer each morning this week, thanking God for a new sunrise and asking Him to guide your day. Maybe choose one verse from the Bible that encourages you to trust in God and reminds you that He is in control, and that His plan for your life far exceeds anything you can come up with on your own. I’ve listed some of my favorites above.

Be encouraged, for God promises (Psalm 32:8) “I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.”


Rebekah H.

Confession

As soon as you wake up you feel it. It’s not supposed to be there. Your mind knows that and instantly the weight increases with the layer of guilt. In the darkness you breathe deep and slow, in and out, hoping for release. Space to see the light you know is there. You pray. You praise Him even in this. You confess it to God. You ask the Holy Spirit to help you, guide you, lead you away from it. You recite scripture.

Yet, it’s still there.

I don’t know what it is for you.


For me it’s weight on my shoulders and a constricting of my chest. You desire to pull the covers over your head and stay there all day. Instead you swing your legs over the side of the bed and your feet hit the floor. Because that’s what you know you have to do. What you’re called to do.

And that’s what you’ve been doing every day in this season. You’re showing up and you’re battling as best you can. The season has been long and you’re weary. Today you go through the motions, but your heart has long since abandoned ship.

It sounds like many of us are in this season. Even if we identify these feelings and emotions without any basis in Truth we’re unable to shake them. Our emotions no longer align with what we know as truth. God’s truth, His Word. We’re reading it, writing it, reciting it and still our insides are contradicting what’s before us in black and white or even red and white.

You feel alone, unloved, and unworthy. You know He’s always with us. You are His Beloved. You were worth the ultimate sacrifice.

I continued to battle the best I knew how. Even though I continued to confess my feelings and ask for God to lift me up from the emotional pit, it didn’t happen. Even though I prayed against the devil’s schemes with all the authority given to me, it didn’t happen.

The emotions rose to bubbling over. I began to confess to others.
“I’m afraid to hope. Can you hope for me?”
Yes. They said yes.

I confessed, but I confessed safely. No one had to know or see just what a mess I was inside. How could I actually say I felt these things when I’m trying to lead others to a deeper, bigger faith??
But it became impossible to contain and in utter desperation I came clean to my husband. It almost started an argument because I didn’t start the conversation well. I just blurted out. “I feel unloved. Unloved by God, by you, just really not cared for.” He braced in preparation to defend himself and God. I quickly interrupted with the real problem. “It’s not true. I know it’s not true! But I can’t get my emotions right.” I layed it all out. He prayed for me and it helped a bit.

The next morning a friend asked how she could pray for me. It just came out. “My emotions are lying to me and even though I know Truth and am fighting for it, I can’t get out of the pit.” She prayed for me and it helped a bit.

They both continued to pray, as did those who were hoping on my behalf. I know they did because the next day I began to feel better. My feelings came under the control of Truth and my battle strategies began to create change again.

Community is important. We were made for it. Just as Moses recognized his part in the battle was to keep his arms raised toward heaven, we often know what to do and do it. Sometimes our arms get tired and we need others to come alongside us to hold us up. The victory depends on it.

So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword.… Exodus 17:11-13 



Who do you need to invite into your mess? Who’s arms are you called to hold up?

~Nanette

All You Need Is Love

I have a devotion book I absolutely love. And here’s why I love it:

• It’s not dated so if (I mean, when) I miss a day or two or five, the date doesn’t glare back, sneering at me for missing so many days. 
• Each page includes a scripture, relatable, real life application, PLUS it ends with a prayer. All inclusive. That’s how I roll. 
• And, perhaps even better than both of those, my mother in law gave it to me. 

It’s called “Today, God Wants You to Know.” As I was getting ready the other morning, I began reading while I was brushing my teeth. The title happened to be, “Today God Wants You to Know the Beauty of Putting Someone Else First.” Sometimes when I read the title for my devotion that day, I think it will have no effect on me…won’t pertain to me, won’t be something I need. But then, I read it. And 9 times out of 10 (or 9.99!), it always does…and this one was no different. I thought to myself, “I don’t have trouble putting others first.”

The verse was Romans 12:9-10 “Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.” Then, about halfway through the application part, I read “God says we sin against Him when we pretend to love others but dislike them. Instead, we are called to genuine love.” So what exactly is “genuine love?” The site www.unlockingthebible.org describes ‘genuine love’ as having these characteristics: patience, generosity, humility, courtesy, restraint, joy and consistency. Well…I’ve definitely got some work to do!

Perhaps you are in a similar situation as myself and find genuine love to be a struggle for you with a certain person. For me, that person is my brother. We aren’t close and never have been. As awful as it sounds, there isn’t a lot of love there either. This devotion hit me in just the right place that I couldn’t move the bookmark. Sometimes, I stay on the same page for days because the message is so real, so pertinent, I need to soak it up more than once (another reason I don’t like dated devotions!). While I immediately thought of my brother when I read this passage, I get stuck with HOW? How in the world do I get past the past (and sometimes even the present) to move forward? How in the world do I accept things as they are, accept him for who he is, who God made him to be? How in the world do I love genuinely?! Oftentimes, I am just not sure I can. But then of course, I know I can because I have God. I have God to lean on. I have God to ask for help. And I have prayer. I have all these “tools” at my fingertips. I just need to use them.

If you missed Dan’s sermon last Sunday, check it out. Is there someone in your life you have “bad blood” with? Is there someone in your life you need to genuinely love? That’s a yes and a yes for me. I don’t know exactly what it’s going to look like, but I’m sure it’s going to be messy for me along the way.

And that’s okay…I’ve got to start somewhere!

Ladies, let’s get out there and start baby stepping our way to some genuine love!

Julie

Pour

Nature is pretty astounding. You don’t have to travel to the Cascades in Washington or the white sandy beaches of Florida to experience its beauty and wonder. Living in Kansas, we are lucky enough to bear witness to some of the most brilliant and utterly amazing sunsets this world has to offer. There is absolutely nothing like it. In a phrase, God is simply showing off.


God also shows off in how He sustains the earth. Did you know scientists estimate that there is roughly the same amount of water on Earth today as when it was first formed? This water is continually being recycled between the Earth, atmosphere, bodies of water and other living things. It is a scientific process called The Water Cycle and instead of boring you with details of evaporation, precipitation and other types of “tations”, let’s thinks about what this really means to us.

In a nutshell, all living things require water. The Water Cycle is the process in which water is recycled and distributed to all living things. And God is the master of this process. In the Bible, Job 36:27-28 says, “He draws up the drops of water, which distill as rain to the streams; the clouds pour down their moisture and abundant showers fall on mankind.”

The scripture describes how perfectly crafted and powerful are the ways of God. Especially when it comes to how He designed the world around us. But the author of Job isn’t just talking about nature here. I feel the Holy Spirit nudging me to appreciate that this process of nature is a picture of how Jesus takes care of us. He pours out abundant showers of blessings and grace onto us every day. We just have to receive them. And once we are filled, then are we able to pour out love, encouragement, support, etc. to people in our lives. It is a cycle. He pours into us, so that we can pour into others.

There is nothing a little droplet of water has to do in order to evaporate into the atmosphere and then fall majestically to the ground. The droplet didn’t earn a way into the cycle, it happens because that is the way our Father created it to happen. In the same way, once we become a child of God and accept His grace and forgiveness, there is nothing we do to earn abundant showers of blessings. He pours them out onto us regardless of what we’ve done, or what we haven’t done.

So what does that look like to you? How do you receive God’s abundant blessings? You may be hurting or facing big battles in your life, battles that don’t feel like blessings at all. But the thing is, God wants to walk along side you during those battles. He wants to shower you with love and a promise of hope for the future.

And what does it look like to pour out blessings to the people in your life? Does it mean spending an extra 10-15 minutes with Jesus this morning, so that you can love on and encourage others throughout the day? Does it mean basking in the stillness of His presence before meeting a friend, so that it is His love and spirit that overflows?

Whatever it means to you and whatever situation you find yourself in today, be encouraged and be filled.


Rebekah H.

The Family God Makes

A few weeks ago, in preparation for a weekend of family celebrations, I stumbled upon a recipe titled, “The World’s Greatest Lasagne”. Intrigued, I browsed through the recipe and was struck by the blend of simplicity and complexity involved in preparing this dish- along with the fabulous promised results of course!   The assembly of different aspects of the dish seemed easy, while the homemade sauce required almost two hours of stirring and simmering to subtly blend its special flavors.  I knew it was going to take effort and it was going to take time, but based on the reviews and title alone, it seemed well worth the effort for an upcoming special family dinner we were hosting.  

A few days later, I spent several hours making the infamous lasagne, poured the wine, lit some candles and gathered my family around the table. The delicious pasta dish was served alongside warm crusty bread, a crisp green salad and my favorite cake from Whole Foods.  The wine was enjoyed, the stories were rich, the laughter loud and the World’s Greatest Lasagne completely lived up to its name.  The results were absolutely worth the effort.

As I enjoyed the evening, I was caught in a moment of pure gratitude not only for the dear faces of my husband, parents, daughter and brother seated around our dining room table that night, but also for the faces of my “extended family” the Lord has graciously surrounded me with in my every day life.  The faces in this family that God made for me are those of my beautiful friends.  

Building a family has to be challenging.  I’m glad God is in charge of that because if it were up to me, I would fail a million times over. Being a part of a family can feel awkward at times, inconvenient and a little amazing too. While I have not known those closest to me my entire life, I am thankful to share life with these one time strangers who are now dear to my heart. It is easy to find people who will celebrate with you, but finding those who will stand in the muck with you? Those are the people in your tribe.  Claim them. Love them, and by all means, celebrate their presence in your life every chance you get! 

God builds family around us and the vulnerability, effort, and intentionality he asks from us in return are always worth the effort. God did not design us to live in isolated silos, He longs for us to be known, loved and cherished by a loving family that He designs for us.  It is all a part of His recipe for our lives: a sprinkle of shared adventure here, a dash of grief there, a splash of laughter, added to an extra measure of joy….and simmer. 

Later that night as I washed the dishes after everyone was gone or tucked into bed, it occurred to me that being a part of God’s family is a bit like cooking. Sometimes you just want to find something easy to make, but once you learn a little more about it, you realize that as in life, its the good stuff that usually takes the longest, requires the most effort, and also brings with it the greatest reward.  Being a part of the family that God makes is always worth celebrating- no fancy lasagne necessary.  (Although I highly recommend it!)  

You can find the recipe for The World’s Best Lasagne HERE

Sarah L. 

The Greatest Is Love

February is the month of love.  Hearts are everywhere.  There are heart shaped candies, heart shaped cookies, greeting cards, banners, homemade love notes from our little ones and the list goes on.  It’s the month to remember that we are loved and to tell someone else that they are loved.

 The month of love can also be a lonely time if we don’t have that special someone.  It can be a time of feeling isolated and unknown.   It can be a time where the color red and the symbol of a heart, breaks ours, just a bit.  So much emphasis is put on romantic love that we might be leaving out a very special heart along the way, the heart of a friend.

Is God calling us to seek out that person that needs a kind word, a kind smile and a friend?   Do we need to step outside of our comfortable space, reach out, lean in and offer friendship? 

My guess is yes. 

Mark 12:31 The second is this: “Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”

Sometimes it just takes stepping away from me and stepping towards another person.  In the past I have let fear of the unknown, “Will they reject me?” or “Am I good enough?” swoop in and steal the moment.  Do you, like me, go through life mingling with people who seem to have their “stuff” together?  They seem strong, content and as if the last thing they need or want is a new friend.  If they aren’t holding a sign that says, “New Friends Welcome,” we often file them in the unapproachable category.  But some of the sweetest, kindest people are wrapped up in intimidating wrapping paper of self-image.  Maybe I should save the filing for another day.

Or there might be those who don’t stand out, who need to be found.  They don’t catch your attention the way others might.  They seem to avoid oncoming efforts of friendship.  Those hearts may need extra special coaxing to open up.  I have been one of those hearts before.  Are we afraid of the effort it might take, the sacrifice of time it may call for? 

I John 4:18-19 There is no fear in love.  But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment.  The one who fears is not made perfect in love.  We love because he first loved us.

Through successes and failures I have learned that most hearts are more than willing to make a new friend, to be loved, affirmed and welcome us into their world.  We all have a deep desire to be known and needed, two words I have been hearing a lot about lately and two words that call us to act.  Some of my most treasured friendships are those that took a measure of bravery, and a step or two into the unknown.

What if we stopped assuming, stopped labeling, stopped fearing and started loving?  What would we have to lose?  Imagine what we would have to gain?

 I need to examine myself and pray to be a person that is approachable and willing so that someone looking at me won’t file me in the “unapproachable” category.  I need to embrace vulnerability to be a person that let’s others in, let’s down my guard and let’s God bless me with the gift of friendship.

We owe it to each other, friends, to look to each other’s needs.  Hearts are everywhere.  We may never know what someone is going through unless we take that first step towards friendship.  We cannot assume to know what a person is thinking and it doesn’t matter.  Reaching out, encouraging and making one feel loved, that’s what matters!  We can leave the rest to God.  He will honor our efforts.

The next time we come face to face with a possible new friend or a heart waiting to be found, let’s be brave, be selfless and purposefully invest in them and then sit back and be surprised at the response…because the greatest of these is LOVE.

 

With love in mind,

Debbie Kirk