Mosaic

I was 14 when my parents split up and I quickly grew sick of the phrase “broken home”. Broken. Unfixable. Shattered. Messy. Ugly. I envisioned a family tree after a horrible storm with branches and leaves thrown amuck. Later on I married a guy from a broken home and we laughed about having 8 parents and 14 siblings between the families. And, we realized something so cool.

Forget the family tree, we had a family mosaic. Nothing really seemed “broken” about it anymore. Our family dynamics had changed and grown into something even bigger and more beautiful. Sure it was still imperfect, but full of more people to know and love. More stories. More laughs. Different adventures. And with that realization, came a slight obsession with mosaics. 

I’ve learned to apply this “mosaic” philosophy to life in general and, spiritually speaking, see Jesus as both the artist and the glue that holds all of life’s pieces together. One piece at a time he is building a work of art in and through each of us that slowly fit together into a masterpiece. It doesn’t make sense yet because we can’t see the bigger picture like He can...and He’s not finished.

“Now we see things imperfectly, like puzzling reflections in a mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely. “ 1Corinthians 13:12

I came across this mess in an abandoned part of town. Many people overlooked it. I couldn’t stop staring at it. How was it that years of random broken glass had made its way into a beautiful, urban, organic mosaic? I wondered about the different bottles, the people, the stories, the laughs, the pain, all together shining in the sun.

What about your life mosaic? Do you need to adjust your focus from 1 broken piece to the bigger picture? Or maybe there’s a missing piece to your mosaic that needs attention? Learning to adjust your focus can change your experience. Zoom in, zoom out. Maybe you are staring at a pile of broken pieces and not sure where to begin to build your mosaic? Start with prayer, a positive piece, and build on.

“God, pick up the pieces of my life. Put me back together again. I give you my praise!” Jeremiah 17:14

Here’s to inner peace with your pieces, 
Shelisa Welde 

Selective Passion

I have no problem sharing something if I’m passionate about it!  I was reminded of this today as I stood at the service desk at Walmart returning a dozen boxes of votive candles that I had purchased for our recent IF Gathering.  As the woman was checking the receipts and returning the candles I was going on and on about how much I loved these candles, how long they burn and what a great deal they are compared to other candles that are similar.

  I told her that if she ever has a need for this type of candle that they are the best and to remember that!   She probably could have cared less about the dumb candles that I had piled upon her countertop, but because I am passionate about how well these little guys have served me in the past, I couldn’t help myself, really.  I was truly hoping that someday this information would prove useful to her.

If only I could have that same enthusiasm when sharing my faith.  If I could so easily go on and on, unsolicited, about how much I love Jesus, truly hoping that someday the information would prove useful.

Why do I care so much to tell that woman how wonderful the candles are and I don’t care enough to share how awesome the Light of World is?  It caused me no fear to offer that information but I would have had a small panic attack if I had chosen to tell her about God’s love for her, right then and there.

There is something to be said for developing relationships in which you have a natural opportunity to share your faith.  But there is also something to be said for seizing a moment that may never come again.  My problem is, I always default to the long term relationship scenario and never step out into the scary, share my love for Jesus because I just can’t help myself scenario. 

Whether I would like to admit it or not, I reserve that kind of sharing for street preachers, pastors or those lucky people who are just naturally bold and evangelistic by nature.  It’s not how I roll.  Unless of course, I am sharing about an amazing candle, then look out! 

This should not be so.

These said candles were burning on each table at the IF Gathering as I sat in the dimly lit room feeling ashamed at how feeble my attempts to reach the lost really are.  The speaker on the big screen was pleading with us to not keep the wonderful news of our Savior to ourselves.  He begged us to remember what is at stake.   He reminded us that it doesn’t need to begin with a big initiative or the writing of a book.  It starts with one life at a time.  Just make ONE disciple.

 

God didn’t say, ”Hey, if you get around to it and it doesn’t feel too awkward, go ahead and mention Me, but if not, no worries, just be nice and neighborly  and maybe that will rub off enough to lead them to Me.”  He actually commands us to “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”  Mark 16:15 

Do I want to keep allowing my fear of what someone might think, fear of overstepping my boundaries or fear of rejection to stand in the way of someone’s eternal salvation?  Do I want to keep my faith small instead of allowing it to grow each time I trust God and His plan?  I’m realizing that I have made it all about me.  I’m thinking it’s time to make it about others.

If you, like me, have had these struggles and fears, would you be willing to join me in stepping outside of your safe scenario and into a place of obedience and true love?

I will never know if that woman will someday need those candles for an event and be glad that I shared with her, but I do know that sharing the gospel is the most important thing I could ever tell someone and that I could put my passion to better use!

 

 

Debbie K.

 

Why all the Pressure?

It's been said I put a lot of pressure on myself,  Generally speaking, I agree.  When the pressure's on, I function as if some catastrophic consequence is looming if I don't...what?  Show up on time? Clean my kitchen before I go to bed? Rigorously exercise? Say the right things?Be completely cool and cavalier under all this pressure?

Who is it that makes these demands of me? Who gets inside my head and says, I must be so disappointing to you - "you" being the nonexistent yet ever present observer of my life?

Here's where it hovers on a grander scale...

Due to the influx of constant correspondence (via text), and constant comparison (via all the rest of it), my definition of "life-long" friends has changed and become somewhat skewed.  When I'm in the company of friends who get regular texts from their other friends while we're together, I begin to feel one-dimensional.  Like, apparently I am not needed elsewhere. Truth is, I don't have friends I text daily (or even weekly), so I question if I qualify as life-long, since I'm not on anyone's most recents list.  And I can't even talk about how sad I get that I don't have girls I go on trips with... I mean, (via my social connections), doesn't everyone?

The pressure whispers, 'do I matter?'

Another area the pressure has me hamstrung is security.  It seems I should have had the good sense to project manage my home, make wise investments, and blaze through half my bucket list by now.  Oh, and buy health insurance I can actually use.  Knowing how abysmal my attempts at these have been, I muddle along, perceiving some unseen others as victors in life because they navigated the big stuff successfully and have the spoils to show for it.

The pressure whispers, 'my best years have been lost.'

Then there's the whole productivity/purpose thing.  I can waste hours (translation: days), sitting on a couch strategizing how to best execute my Next Big Thing, while supposedly everyone else is living their purpose driven life.  They're following their hearts and running their races, regardless of impediments.  Meanwhile, I feel trapped by the nothingness.  How did the stay their course, find their stride and realize their dreams?

The pressure whispers, 'why am I so incapable, so lame?'

This is the pressure I speak of.  Some may say, the lies I listen to.  When I'm in my right mind, having a good day, meaningful encounter, or simply taking a walk, I know these things aren't true.

We all struggle to find lasting friendship - to not be let down when "life-long" and "day to day" don't equate, and can logically grasp those are two very different concepts.  (and PS - traveling is expensive and more a function of socio-economics than it is friendship.)

No one feels completely secure.  Who could?  Life is crazy.  Those appearing more peaceful are those who place their trust in God, or, because they happen to be doing fairly well at the moment, themselves.  (But self is a very precarious trust-holder.)

Here's a little secret:  every speaker/writer/dream-maker desperately hopes that what they're saying/writing/doing matters to someone, somewhere.  (And lest we fail to acknowledge, words are forever stored in that elusive "cloud" so perhaps the fewer attached to our name, the better.)

It's time to take the pressure off.

This is yet another reason I have been enamored with the humanity of Christ.  When I recall, "he was tempted in every way as I was, yet without sin", I forget he had people following him around all day long, every day, for at least three years.  I forget he had an actual audience.

Talk about pressure.

Given he was exposed to similar struggles as I, He must have wondered if his life-long friends would be there for him in his day to day; wondered if he'd managed each sacred moment completely; wondered if he was making an earthly difference.

That doesn't make him less God, but more human - and he was fully both.

His life was lived in perfect balance; the ideal blend of friendship and solitude, intention and interruption, purpose without the striving.

And then, the sweet exchange:  His life well lived, for mine.

Christ in me, the hope of glory, silenced the audience.

So why all the pressure?

~elizabeth (Liz) d.

I'm Just a Mom

The day I introduce myself to a geologist at a writing conference is the day I wake up to a deep need in my soul. "Geologist" sounds so cool. She's got curly hair and a British accent. She and I chat about the UK. Then she asks what I do for a living. "I'm just a mom." She nods politely. Then I hear, "Don't do that." A writer from Atlanta has retaken his seat between us. He's talking to me.

"Do what?"

"Discount your role as a mom. I hear it in your voice. What you do is important."

Slam. I'm taken aback. This dude has just finished a book draft. He has worked on a mentoring project for kids without dads. He looks like he has life figured out and his conference peeps are a band of single lovely ladies. Why is he calling me out? I wonder. Why would he care?

"You're right. I am." I say. Why, yes, Mr. Writer, I do it all the time. I fight it now, as I write. As I wake up and wonder if this voice has value. Mr. Writer is a guide for me at a crucial moment. He is also the bologna sniffer. He senses the de-valuing, the discounting, the identity-less-ness permeating me.

He sees right through me. The facade. The questions of self-worth. Any worth.

Sometimes we need someone to call us out into the light.

I tell my husband, "Tell me you love me and I'm awesome every day. Call me amazing so I believe it too."

Because I work, launder, bake, mow, transport, psycho-analyze, network, check homework, beautify, ratify.

Before these bold small people of mine cried themselves into this world. I had no idea.

No clue that the first 26 years (a blur of getting, good grades, nice tans, pining for boys, dreams, and then happily ever after) were nothing like the next few decades.

No one told me happiness was dying to myself every day.

Putting my dreams aside and giving up my time and well, my very heart. Oh yeah, my body too which will never be the same. Thank you, dear 9 lb. 6 oz. son. My son has the imagination of the sea and he whispered "I love you, Mommy," in the middle of his class presentation today.

No one told me I would need a bigger voice than my own to call me what God has called me. Someone to remind me this unpaid, wearying calling matters. My voice hungers for validation and self worth. I'm just a mom.

You are not the sum of what you do---although the blogs and status updates urge us to keep up, chin up, keep up. Then there are kid arguments, loneliness, work. They will swallow us whole if we forget to swim.

I have met invisible moms in South Africa. We crouched on the grass together and talked of love for our children and the knowledge that we have power as women to do something good in their lives. Their dark skin shone under streaks of white cream to shield themselves from the sun. Their children may have been dying. They may have been too. HIV had a vice grip on their community. They were at the mercy of an abusive patriarchal society. Life was stacked against them.

Yet their hearts soared with joy as they sang a large group of us back to our cars. Their pink palms waving, their hips swaying as they clacked their tongues and sang from the bottoms of their bare feet. We are alive. He sees us all. I could feel it in the heat and dirt.

I see you in the sun, mom. Mothers, grandmothers, longing to be mothers, someday mothers. You matter. What you do matters. But you are not defined by what you do.

We need the wake-up, move up, rise up, speak up of others to speak for us when we can't speak. Rise up, dear one. Rise up, dance with us. We are sisters and mothers. Be barefoot with me on this Holy ground where He says, you are beloved. You are more than just a mom. You are important.

- Christina H.

The Bridge

One more step and I'd be on the bridge. Am I ready? Glancing over my shoulder at the well-worn dirt path behind me I notice for the first time how wide and sure it was. Back on that smooth terrain I even ran for a time feeling swift and empowered. I saw God’s glory in the sunsets and budding daisies. I heard His creation cries in the dove’s song and sensed his presence in the cool breeze. Not long ago, a friendly traveler handed me a trail map just to make my travels easier. He’d mentioned not wanting me to have to think too much, and pointed out an easier path, but it seemed to go in circles and it proved to always take me where I didn't want to go so I threw it aside. Today the path began to wind higher and higher as I sensed God calling me forward with every uphill stride. I couldn’t run anymore and my legs grew weary from the climb, but when I reached the top of the mountain and looked across the expanse I knew there is so much more to this journey than I had ever dared to dream. The only way to get there was by crossing the bridge. Dare I admit I don't like heights? There, just within sight at the far end of the bridge was an illuminated path. It was narrower than the one I’d previously traveled, but its beauty was indescribably inviting. Somehow I knew it was meant for me, and I was meant to have faith in its unseen destination. I just had to cross the bridge to get there.   

Taken in with the inviting splendor of this newfound journey I step forward and hear the creaking of aged wood under my feet. Noticing for the first time how high the bridge suspends over the valley and how feeble the planks are sitting on the age-old ropes, I quickly retreat back onto solid ground. The pounding of my heart quieting as I glance behind me at the old familiar comforts of the known path. I was happy enough back there, for a time.  Should I just turn around and walk back down the mountain? Familiarity entices and soothes my fears.  God blessed me on that journey once, I’m sure he’ll do it again. Right? My heart knew the answer before I even turned to face the bridge again. My goal isn't to be the lifelong recipient of good gifts. Somewhere along that path my heart tasted freedom and now it wants more...more than what meets the eye. The unknown depth of my soul’s longing is to experience this journey fully surrendered to God's wild frontier. To stop clinging to my perceived control and get on the bridge. 

So I step forward, trembling inch by inch. The bridge sways in the wind and sounds of falling boards ricochet and crack in the blackened valley below. Fear calls from the depths of my soul urging me to retreat to safety. Should I go back? The answer explodes from a newly awakened space in my heart and mind. Never. I grip the rail as tight as I can and run, tripping on lose boards, hands burning from holding on so tightly, fear warning me to stop, but running...and all the way laughing for the joy of finally living. 

                                    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Following Jesus is a journey. At unexpected moments, He calls us out farther and deeper than we ever imagined going, but with Him all things are possible to him who believes (Mark 9:23). Believing He is with us, his peace guarding our hearts and minds (Philippians 4:13) as we surrender every moment, even our most paralyzing fears, to Him who pours out his love for us (Romans 5:5) is our greatest adventure. 

Where do you see yourself on your journey? Where do you see God? What fears lie beneath your bridge keeping you from experiencing the freedom of fully surrendering to Jesus? Where has God’s love been so evident to you along the way? 

Jena M. 

God Is Our Refuge

My life is awash in uncertainty and change these days.  We are counting down the days until we travel out of state for the birth of the baby boy we are hoping to adopt.  Adoption is a series of necessary steps toward finalization.  I hold my breath, waiting to exhale in small increments as each step is taken.  I will not fully relax until the last of my indrawn breath is pushed out hearing the judge declare the adoption final.  But, that isn't the end...adoption is a change that alters two families for life.

Our relationship with his birth mother has been blessed with hills and fraught with valleys.  She is also our youngest son's birth mother and we have been building a relationship with her for a year and a half.  We have had awesome interactions, heartfelt conversations, and epic miscommunications.  There have been break-throughs and disappointments.  We have learned that loving her and building what we hope is a life-long relationship with her take many intentional acts of love.  It hasn't been easy on any of us.  I know it will be a work in progress as long as we are connected.

Doubt and uncertainty are my constant companion.  Have we done enough to cultivate this relationship?  Will she be confident in her decision?  Will we be found capable by the social worker and judge?  Can we do this - five kids is a lot of kids!  Am I cut out for this?  Am I enough?

In the midst of these fears God gives me hope.  Psalm 46 says,

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." (Psalm 46:1)  

He is where I can turn when doubts plague me.  His loving grace is my refuge.  He provides strength when I don't have it alone.

Through Him I can rejoice, even in times of stress and worry.  While in prison, Paul wrote to the church in Philippi encouraging them to rejoice.

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  (Philippians 4:4-7)

This passage is so rich!  The Lord is near - I can confidently rejoice ALWAYS.  No matter what I encounter, no matter how I feel, I have reason to rejoice in the Lord.  

However, with that cause for rejoicing comes responsibility on my part.  Paul urges us to "let (our) gentleness be evident to all."  I must take the strength I get from His nearness and allow it to resonate from me, exuding gentleness - even in the midst of fear, frustration, and doubt.  I have control of my actions and reactions and have been given strength by His nearness so show the world glimpses of His love through my gentle demeanor.

What can help me achieve that gentle demeanor?  Paul tells us right here: "...in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God."  Prayer and petition are key actions on my part!  So often we get wrapped up in our struggles and forget the most basic part of our relationship with God - prayer.  

Last night, as a family we were watching the latest episode of A.D. - the show about the time after Jesus's death and resurrection.  A particular scene stood out to me.  The disciple Peter was talking with his daughter while the disciples were following Jesus's instructions to wait for the Holy Spirit to come upon them.  Peter's daughter simply asked him, "what would he (Jesus) do if he were here?"  Peter's face lit up as realization dawned on him and he answered, "he would pray."  He then excitedly woke the other disciples and they began to pray as a group - beginning with what we now know as the Lord's Prayer.  I realize this is a dramatization and we don't really know exactly what happened in those days other than what is written in the Bible, but it isn't much of a stretch to imagine that Paul's advice to the Philippians was based at least in part on his personal experience.  

For me another key phrase in that passage is, "with thanksgiving."  If I am always looking for things to be thankful for, I have found that my outlook is brighter and it is harder to dwell on my fears, frustrations, and doubts.  When I have eyes for His blessings, I see my troubles less.  When I am busy being thankful, I have no time to fear or feel sorry for myself.

What does Paul promise will happen when we shift our focus and go to God with our prayers and petitions?  "...the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  God will imbue our hearts with peace that will guard both our hearts and minds.  If you are a visual person, another scene from A.D. may help you imagine this.  The disciples were standing in a circle praying fervently to the Lord when a column of fire came down from heaven, circled the house they were in, came in and circled the gathered disciples before entering each of them, filling them with the Holy Spirit.  It was then that the disciples were emboldened by the Holy Spirit and set out for the Temple preaching the Good News to all.  

Close your eyes and imagine the fire of the Holy Spirit entering you covering your heart and mind in a cloak of protection.  Now, how much easier does it seem to rejoice and let your gentleness be evident to all?  Do you need a reminder to take your worries to God in prayer and petition?

Katrina K.

Spring

I am absolutely enamored by spring. Each season has its own special beauty, but to me, spring holds the most magical wonder of them all. From the deep cold earth, long covered by snow, the daffodils bravely push upwards their bladed leaves cutting through dirt that gives way to glory. The temperatures slowly warm as the sunlight increases. The warmth kisses my face and I smile. Day by day, little by little, the green appears -- barely, and then, almost all at once. There it is!

Spring is full of hope. Maybe I love spring so much because of its contrast. From winter so dark, cold and dormant to a season filled with new life - the transformation is so evident! When the weather outside starts to warm, I find my spirit mirroring the longing for new life. The changing seasons show us that things don’t always have to stay the way they have been. Something new is happening here. Don’t miss it.

In the spring, the gardener sees the fruit of planting bulbs in the fall. After sitting cold and dormant, they come bursting forth as the herald of newness. In life there are so often periods of waiting that we must endure before any visible signs of something new (James 5:7). We must not give up on those prayers we prayed and the ways in which we have tried to follow God. But during the spring, the gardener gets dirty again down on her hands and knees, pulling weeds, clearing the dead debris, planting new seeds, watering and watching. This is our work, too.

In his book Spiritual Rhythms, Mark Buchanan describes the activities of a spiritual “spring.” (Although he clearly states that spiritual seasons don’t necessarily coincide with physical ones, I can’t help but find myself in a place of spiritual, emotional, and physical renewal when the world around is blossoming with so much hope!)  

First we wake up to what God is doing in and around us.

“Awake, awake, clothe yourself in your strength, O Zion...Shake yourself from the dust, rise up, O captive Jerusalem; loose yourself from the chains around your neck, O captive daughter of Zion.”  Isaiah 52:1-2 (NASB)

For me recently, this has taken the form of a gratitude list as well as reading back through old journals. For a while I had felt out of sync with God, disconnected somehow. Through the simple act of trying to notice and write down the “little things,” I have grown more awake to where God is working in my life. I also revisited my coffee-stained journals from last year that had sat for too long on the dusty shelf. As I reread my prayers and thoughts from only a few months ago, I felt my spirit reawakening to things God had planted in my heart long before now.

Then we plow.  

“Sow righteousness for yourselves, reap the fruit of unfailing love, and break up your unplowed ground; for it is time to seek the Lord, until He comes and showers His righteousness on you.” Hosea 10:12 (NIV)

Plowing comes in the form of renewing our spiritual disciplines - prayer and Scripture. We lean in and listen in order to obey the One who calls us. Buchanan calls it the “discipline of deeper attentiveness”. Return to those things that connect you to God. Perhaps it is daily Bible reading or even memorizing a passage of Scripture. Maybe it is daily intentional prayer or even another spiritual discipline like fasting.

During spring we also plant new things and allow God to plant new things in us.

“Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.”  Isaiah 43:19 (NASB)

We may be launching into a new phase of ministry or responding in some other way to something new God is asking us to step into. Buchanan warns against planting haphazardly, though. We must also protect and nurture the new thing like a gardener tends to the new plants carefully so that they grow to be strong and beautiful.  I’ve recently stepped into some new leadership opportunities and I’ve had to be very intentional about carving out time for them. I am eagerly expectant to see what God is going to do in this uncharted territory.

Lastly, we clean.

“But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light.” Ephesians 5:13 (NASB)

Soul “spring cleaning” occurs when we reflect on our days and clean out what needs to be removed. We open up the doors and windows and brush away the cobwebs. We don’t want debris and dead things taking up space in our hearts and lives. In order for God to continue to grow new things in us, we must continually declutter. I sat down recently to do a little life inventory. I like using a simple little tool I’ve learned where I sift through things in my life and categorize where I am feeling failure, frustration, battle, and breakthrough.  It’s not necessarily pretty, but definitely needed. After bringing things to light, it always feels easier to move forward.

I don’t know if you are in a spiritual “spring” or perhaps just desire to be there like I so often do. While the world around us is waking to life, may we too awaken to what God is doing and then do the work to prepare our hearts for the new things He may have for us in a new season. He is the one who ultimately causes the flower to push forth. The gardener can only prepare the ground, plant the seed, tend to it, and watch what comes.

Let’s prepare the way for God to work in our hearts and lives and be amazed at how beautifully and miraculously He works.

~Meredith M.

Step Into Grace

Sometimes you just have to restart. This blog post, for example, has been started three times. The other two started fine, but I had so much I wanted to include in the first, I feared I might never finish it. The second started strong then fell flat.  I think it’s kinda like computers. You know, when you start getting error messages or it freezes? You call the help desk and the first thing they ask is  “have you restarted it?”

And how many things have I started just to have something (life?) come along and knock me off course? Sometimes it feels too overwhelming to right the cart and get back on track. There are certain times that feel easier to start or restart something. The new year, when the kids go back to school, next month, Monday, maybe even tomorrow.

Oh and the plan!! I can make a plan like no other! Researching is probably one of my favorite past times.  I just like to learn. Armed with information, how do I not go all out? I’ll read the whole Bible through this year. I’ll follow this perfect home cleaning schedule. NO MORE FAST FOOD! No more yelling at the kids.

I’ve shared this with enough of my girlfriends to know I’m not alone in this. We have the best of intentions. We want to grow and do better. It’s easy to get discouraged by all of the “failed” attempts piled up in our past. It’s easy to forget about grace.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed,

for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;

great is your faithfulness.”

-Lamentations 3:22-23

It can be difficult to accept and step into grace. I’ve found it’s much easier to dance into it. No joke! A sweet friend performed a dance to the song below and it truly inspired me to do the same. So I went home and I *started* practicing accepting grace through dancing to this song.

Now, my plan of practicing this has long since been interrupted, but one day when things were just going down hill and I found myself wishing I could restart the day, the Spirit reminded me of this. I was in the bathroom with my youngest son and it was ugly. We were both a mess. Frustrated, sad, and maybe even a little angry with one another, I grabbed my phone turned one of his favorite songs on and we danced.  Even though it wasn’t the beautiful voice of Christy Nockels singing about the grace of Jesus pouring over us, it did.

We didn’t get to restart, but we were blessed by the reset of our day. In that moment outside of our situation, we both gave and received grace.

Nanette H.

Chosen

We all need to know who we are - where we come from. Where we are going. As a personality profile junkie, I can get overly fascinated with how I’m wired. Sometimes indulging in those silly online quizzes (you know, the ones that somehow promise to take what you ate for breakfast and the middle name of your best friend and miraculously tell you which Disney character you most resemble…)  “Oh, that’s totally me!” I say when I get a result I agree with. ...But sometimes, when it’s a little off, I just tend to chalk it up to poor quiz writers. Somehow I can always twist the results to suit what I want to hear.

Almost daily, around my right wrist sits a little block of stamped clay. CHOSEN. Tied around with its little gray elastic it is a visual reminder of the truth the Father speaks of me. When God gave me this word, it was quite a surprise, honestly. I was not in any way, shape or form expecting to hear that particular word from Him. But like a firebrand, clear as day and searing hot it burned on my heart. Chosen.

I so often qualify the things I am. I am a teacher, but do people think I’m a good teacher? I am a friend, but how have I been doing keeping up with certain relationships? Probably not all that great. I am a daughter, but when was the last time I really connected deeply with my parents? I feel the weight of you can do better at this pushing down on me. Or I define myself by what has happened or not happened in my life.  I’ve been rejected a time or two. It hurts. It cuts deep. When you hear the same words over and over, you start to wonder if it’s true about you. What did I do wrong to cause this? Is this my fault?  But when I leaned in close enough to really, really hear what He had to say - not the voices that mock and shame - I got a big surprise - “chosen.”

Really, God?

Yes, really. You are CHOSEN.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

1 Peter 2:9

You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.

John 15:16

Really? Okay. I’m gonna take Your word for it. Act like it’s true even when I don’t feel like it’s true.

When we truly desire to know who we are, we must look square in His face and wait for His words. We need to know Who our Father is. What is true of Him? He bestows our identity, and surprisingly enough, it has absolutely nothing to do with how good we are at things. It has nothing to do with what we’ve done or haven’t been able to do. It has nothing to do with what has happened to us. It has everything to do with Who He is. Because we have Jesus, when God looks at us, He sees Jesus. Before we ever step out into the world, He says to us the same thing He said to Jesus in Matthew 3:17.

“This is My beloved [daughter], in whom I am well-pleased.”

So my little MudLove bracelet (www.mudlove.com) reminds me daily who I am. I make sure I am wearing it especially when I know I am going to meet challenge in my day. In a way, it’s a little bit of putting on my very own spiritual armor. A little miniature belt of truth around my wrist.

When we step more fully into who God says we are, remarkable things start to happen in and around us.

What does God say about you? Have you asked Him lately? Go ahead...lean in close.  Maybe you’ll be surprised by what He says.

“Search me, God, and know my heart. . . “

Psalm 139:23

~ Meredith M.

Joy is Connection

We seek joy. More than anything, we crave this feeling – this state of being – this joy that God says is ours and our soul longs for.

But as we look around us and others – we do not always see joy. We can’t always find it when we need it and we are not really sure what it is we are searching for. We’ve been told it is not happiness – that happiness is more of a fleeting feeling – an in the moment kind of reaction to something good. We’ve been told it’s not money or possessions or anything we can buy. So, I found myself wondering what is joy?

In an article by Dale Fletcher of Faith and Health Connection, he writes, “living a life that is in line with God’s principles that are written about in the Bible can not only bring a life of happiness but of joy and a sense that life is worth living…That’s how God designed us. And that’s why God inspired the writers of the Bible to give us the truth that can be found there.”

Psalm 16:11 (ESV) You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.

It seemed to me, if God gave us the principles on how to live in joy, a lot of us had to be missing something in the Bible since we weren’t experiencing joy. Maybe it’s a cultural error. The subjects of loneliness, fewer family connections, and disconnection despite many online connections are popular themes among articles I read. Then I started hearing about discipleship at Heartland and talks on themes such as living life together and creating family – and I was intrigued.

In Ghost Boy, Martin Pistorius wrote “… I wondered if it was possible to get so used to joy that you stopped noticing it?”

Maybe we do stop noticing all the joy around us – maybe we stop noticing all the people around us too. In Jennifer Senior’s book All Joy and No Fun, she wrote about George Vaillant, a psychiatrist who took on the Grant Study in 1939 and has followed the same group of Harvard sophomores, collecting data about every aspect of their lives and deaths. She wrote of Valliant’s observations: “Joy is connection” and joy is “almost impossible to experience alone” and “joy is grief inside out”.

That made sense to me. Living life together makes sense and joy is connection; connection to God and connection to each other. Our “In” crowd, our group, our family, our friends, our intimate relationships, our relationship with Jesus, maybe our Women Unplugged Table…our “in’s” are joy. We were made for a deep fellowship and connection with other people as well as with God to satisfy our soul cravings. We share our hopes, fears, thoughts, failures, and dreams with those we feel a connection deep enough to be vulnerable with our hearts. We only get our craving for joy filled when we experience those kind of relationships and ongoing connections.

A brief moment of connection with a stranger or acquaintance doesn’t fill the imprint God left on our hearts. We need a soul connection with God and others. We need to share intimate details of ourselves with Him and with people we love that we have continued connections with in our lives.

Unfortunately – mourning and joy are intertwined. We can’t actually experience the joy connections without risking – and experiencing – mourning and loss. We raise kids for that joy connection – even though we know we will lose them – because they grow up, move away, or we lose them through tragedy. But we do it anyway because it’s a joy connection worth the cost. We love others because it’s worth the cost. We may lose our spouses, friends, or family, but we choose to make joy connections because it’s worth the cost of mourning them when the connection is over. We marry because no matter how it ends, it’s worth the risk and the memories and the cost – it’s worth the joy connection through the years, we hope. We make friends even though people change and people move and people hurt us. But it’s worth the joy connections. Jesus’ friend Judas betrayed him in the end, but he made the connection anyway. He knew who would betray him. We do not. But we connect anyway.

Vulnerability and courage are hard to muster in a world where hurting people hurt hurting people. Our core beings are damaged by failures, fears, rejection, and grief. To expose our wounds, oozing and raw, to other people takes trust built over time and consistent relationship. We are unable to heal alone but not safe enough to ask for help or share our being– having been hurt, rejected, judged, condemned, feeling worthless and without value. We have experienced the opposite of grace, love, and mercy. The opposite of God’s love. The opposite of Jesus hanging on a cross for his friends. The opposite of support, empathy, and encouragement. The opposite of what we need to heal.

Every human being needs encouragement, love, and support to flourish and to heal and to believe the truth in God’s word – to believe we have worth, a calling, a purpose, and value. We need those kind of people to connect with in life to experience joy. Safe people we love, who love us. Every person we love isn’t going to be the kind of person we are able to connect to on that level and be vulnerable enough to share our deepest selves and find that kind of joy connection. Jesus found twelve joy connections. Then out of the twelve disciples, three whom he had intimate soul connections.

It’s a paradox to learn that what we crave most are things we cannot hold onto in this life. We will always be learning to let go, waiting for heaven, and maintaining, making, and losing joy connections. It’s comforting to know we can never lose God, our greatest joy connection. When we lose others or are betrayed, he stands firm and keeps us steady. Psalms 62:6 He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken.

He holds onto us and sustains us even when we cannot hold onto him. He is our rock we stay connected to so our human relationships cannot sink us. Jesus had a Judas and we will too, but he also had eleven solid friends who stood by his side through the joy and through the pain.

We read the Bible, listen to God’s voice, and pray because we cannot live in joy without our connection to Him. God created us to connect to him and then to each other. Joy is connection and connection was made to be shared between God and others. You’ve heard of the triangle? Up, In, and Out. Connection “Up” to God and “In” with other Christ-followers – these are our joy connections – and “Out” is our mission from Jesus – to show lost people Jesus by our actions and our words.

We sometimes find ourselves missing our “In”. In’s can be hard to find – scary too. Most of us have been deeply hurt by our “In”s – who may or may not be Christ-followers. To put yourself out there and try again, is hard. It costs. And when you find a joy connection, it means you most certainly will face loss again. But joy is worth the cost. Living this life without joy…hurts. It’s lonely. God doesn’t want that for us. He calls us to good things.

Proverbs 17:22 (ESV) A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Psalm 126:5 (ESV) Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!

What stops us from wanting to connect with others besides the possibility of being hurt? Connection costs time, energy, loss of freedom, and obligates us to the people we connect with if we want to continue our connection.

In the book All Joy and No Fun, Jennifer Senior quotes Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi “freedom in our culture has evolved to mean freedom from obligations. But what on earth does that freedom even mean if we don’t have something to give it up for?” In our personal lives, Csikszentmihalyi writes, rules can liberate us even as they bind: “One is freed of the constant pressure of trying to maximize emotional returns.”

Interesting. The Bible agrees. Once we surrender to Christ – we are free. We surrender to his ways of doing things. He of course knows exactly how we’re made and tells us to follow certain principles to ensure we will find joy and peace and everything else we crave. He knows we will only find joy giving ourselves to a higher purpose, being generous, being connected, and truly showing love. So he tells us to do those things. God says we have to “do” not just feel. The psychology field has found the same thing. We actually have to get outside of ourselves and do things we feel good about for others – thinking about them isn’t enough. Doing costs.

If we find ourselves too busy for God or people, we find ourselves too busy for joy. I admit I have found myself too busy for joy – too busy for connection. But priorities can change. Maybe connection with God and others is a priority worth changing in our lives since it is essentially the only reason for living…

Pride. Ugh pride hurts. It also keeps us from connecting with others. Pride either leads us to judgment or insecurity. Comparing ourselves to each other is wrong and it hurts. For connection with each other we need loads of grace and forgiveness. We are each just too imperfect – too human – not to need heaps of it from other people and to give heaps of it away. Joy connections are worth the cost.

Connecting changes people. Joy change peoples. People notice joy because people crave joy. Joy is one of those things that changes people who change churches who change the world.

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. -Khalil Gibran

Do you have joy connections? What is holding you back?

- Tara Godard

References

Senior, Jennifer (2014-01-28). All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood. Kindle Edition.

Pistorius, Martin (2013-11-12). Ghost Boy: The Miraculous Escape of a Misdiagnosed Boy Trapped Inside His Own Body. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Fletcher, D. (Sept. 2, 2008) Joy, Wellbeing & Health – Weekly Faith & Health Scripture – Psalm 119:2: Faith and Health Connection.  http://www.faithandhealthconnection.org/faith-health-scripture-joy-wellbeing-health-psalm-1192/