Six months ago we bought a home with nine rose bushes. All out in the front yard where every pair of eyes in the neighborhood can enjoy their fragrant blooms. I counted six different colors last fall and I could smell them through open living room windows. A neighbor graciously clued me in to the fact that the previous owners spent long hours refining each plant. Two words sprang to my mind…no pressure. Of course, I took to the web and started researching “how to grow beautiful roses”. With Google in my corner we could master greatness, or at least manage to not kill the plants. After what seemed like hours of web research and several phone calls to my garden experienced grandmother I purchased pruning shears, trimmers, and heavy duty gloves because the one consistent piece of advice Grandma and Google kept offering was that I must prune my plants. I don’t mow grass. I don’t cut bangs. I’ve never pruned a plant, let alone nine rose bushes. That was last fall and the prickly plants still have not been pruned. Not because I’m not equipped. Not due to lack of beautiful weather (what winter?). Not because I haven’t had time (hours are adding up that I’ve analyzed how to cut the silly things). It’s simply because I am a cling-o-maniac.
I tend to hold onto things too tightly. Right now, as new growth springs forth I have beautiful, thriving green bushes with height and foliage galore. I’m clinging to the fact that they’re still alive and growing. If I was striving for beautiful greenery then I’m probably doing pretty well, but I’m not. This summer I want color. I saw what these plants were capable of and I want that and more. A cling-o-maniac, like me, doesn’t stop or start with roses, unfortunately. The fear of losing what we have can be utterly paralyzing! Usually they’re things our world holds in high esteem, often the highest esteem; a comfortable home, predictable schedule, well stocked retirement fund, good health, successful career, thriving children, and a loving marriage. I could list hundreds of great reasons why each of those is a wonderful thing to want and have. However, if I am striving and placing my hope in ideals, things, or people then disappointment, fear and I are going to be well acquainted. Anxiety over trying to cling to the things we think will bring us ultimate happiness and fulfillment, but in the end leave us thirsty for more is what this world offers. Jesus hits this issue head on with a woman at the well:
"Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” John 4: 13-15
Matthew, Chapter 6: 19-21, Jesus talks to his disciples about this very idea of placing our hearts in temporary things: “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”
Jesus, I want my heart to be fully yours. Amongst the thorns and blooms of life be my courage and strength to cut away anything that keeps me from clinging to You. Reveal your grace story through me so my children and my children’s children will know of Your unfailing love.
Jena Meyerpeter
