Who wants to decrease frustration, chaos, and power struggles in the morning and at night? Yes, me too! To do this for myself and for my kids, I’ve chosen to set specific routine lists for morning and bedtime (Which are taped to their walls). With routines, our kids know what to do and what is expected of them which decreases power struggles and frustration for all of us at the most chaotic times during our day by setting consistent expectations.
With morning and bedtime routine lists, there is an end in sight and the kids can visually see the end – which gives them motivation to finish the list, because at the end, there are rewards. For example, in the morning, the end may be computer time, TV, playing with their favorite toy, etc. (whatever you decide will work for your kids and your family). For bedtime, the reward may be a book, a song, a story.
Another great reason for routines is so the majority of morning conversations do not consist of “Did you brush your teeth? You need to put on socks. You still need to brush your hair” – and then repeating these phrases 3-4 times, at least. I can simply say, “Look at your list.”
Routines also allow for independence, which is our ultimate goal as parents and, of course, children demand a certain amount of independence anyway, so routines give them what they want.
Not only do our routines teach our children to be accountable, but they also keep my husband and I accountable to make sure we have done our part and didn’t send the kids off to school without breakfast, homework, and the medicines they take, or put them to bed, forgetting snack time, brushing teeth, and the medicines they take - which may have happened in the past…
For younger children, pictures are a great way to begin, and even though they still need help, they learn to start going by the morning and bedtime routines, and then when they are old enough to do the routine themselves, they are already in the habit of completing a list. For my daughter, the age was 7 when she could do her list herself – ages will vary depending on maturity. FYI, I also created a list for my husband, which he likes.
- Tara Godard
Bedtime Routine
Big Kid example:
1) Pick out pajamas and underwear
2) Get towel and take a shower – don’t forget to put conditioner in your hair!
3) Get dressed for bed
4) Eat snack
5) Brush teeth
6) Go to the bathroom and wash hands
Little Kid example: (use a picture of them doing the tasks or clip-art to show them each step)
Time for Bed!
Go the bathroom
Take a Bath
Put on pajamas
