I’m easily distracted.
If you know me well, don’t laugh…you're laughing. I've been told I look calm on the outside, but on the inside my thoughts are a pinball machine on it's third bonus ball.
So much so that I’ve read articles on adult ADD just to make
sure I wasn’t overlooking a clinical problem (thank you, WebMD). I forget
things, important things sometimes, and miss the details of life like
parent-teacher conferences for example. Smart friends have
shown me their e-calendars and organization apps. Lovely. I’ve been given awesome planners with suggestions on how to actually use them. Great idea. Last
year I was challenged by a friend to take inventory of how I spend my days in 30-minute
increments, but I found tracking it was difficult because I wasn’t spending that
long on any one task. It was a little here and a little there. I start one thing and get distracted by
another: laundry, text, carpool, phone call, email, dishes, bills, pray for a friend,
back to the laundry I left sitting on the couch…and on, and on. Is this all
sounding a bit familiar?
I know I don’t need a diagnosis. I’m 99.7% (leaving room for
error) certain I don’t have a serious condition. I’m suffering from this thing
we call Life. Most likely it’s not
my circumstances that need to change it’s my perspective. I need to know my
mission and focus. I’m a Jesus loving, warrior chic who gets antsy without clarity of her orders. Then there are times when I do get clear directives but Life distracts me to the point of ineffectiveness.
It’s one thing to forget peanut butter at the store or my
wallet when I leave the house (thanks for the loans [you know who you are] and
to my daughter’s elementary school for still letting me enter without my I.D.)
but it’s another thing to forget my purpose in living. How quickly I live like my life is about tasks and to-dos,
just getting from one day to the next. I need to stop and remember:
1.
I am a daughter of God
2.
I represent His Kingdom here on Earth each
moment, every day
3.
I am Josh’s wife
4.
I am Mom to three wonderful girls
It
really is that simple. Everything I do and how I spend “my” time and energy is best sifted from the top of that list down. My mission is to have God-directed
influence in every relationship and responsibility I encounter beginning
with those top priorities. Sometimes that means I teach and write, other times
that means I’m at home baking cookies or enjoying a slow cup of coffee with my
husband. The point is we are to actually live what Jesus says in Matthew 6:33,
“But seek first the kingdom of God and
his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”
We
have our mission and we can step into it with focused boldness. The
craziest part is, that when we feel like God is asking a lot of us He’s
actually giving us what we need most. Himself. Anything we do in this world is an overflow of our relationship with Him (Romans 15:13). When we get distracted and lose
sight of our purpose we can, with courage and confidence, turn to our Father and ask Him to remind us who we are and why
we’re here.
"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." Hebrews 4:16
p.s. have you seen my computer cord? I know I left it around here somewhere...
Jena M.
