I started worrying about writing this blog post early on knowing full well I have nothing to write about, nothing to contribute. You see, my area of “expertise” if you will is teaching…children, families, creativity, art projects, fun stuff. I’ve contributed to the blog for the past two years on a fairly regular basis but it’s all been in my comfort zone. I’ve come up with and posted activities to do with your family and your children (remember the paint filled eggs?!) but I felt like this year’s post should be different…and perhaps I should stretch outside of my “comfort zone” a bit more than in the past.
I am in a season where I am struggling with motivation...for anything really. I struggle for motivation to meal plan, cook, play, read, work out, socialize, craft, shower, look for a house, and the list could go on (rest assured though, despite the lack of motivation, my family isn’t starving and I have actually showered!☺). My heart aches with the failure I feel as of late. I know it’s the enemy camping out in my brain and worse yet, in my heart.
I’m not totally sure why the lack of motivation has presented itself lately but perhaps it has something to do with being stuck inside more with the colder days and darker evenings. I am finding myself lost in my own thoughts, thinking ahead to situations, wasting time, not being fully present, and not filling myself with God. I am totally guilty right now of selfish ambitions and not seeking out the Lord. It feels a bit funny (and a bit vulnerable!) to write that, but it’s true nonetheless. It’s easy for my focus to not be on the right thing…thinking about upcoming holidays and the surrounding emotions involved, to do lists growing longer by the minute, etc. I must remember Philippians 4:6 though which reminds us, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
But no amount of any THING is going to change my motivation. It’s not like all of a sudden I am going to wake up one morning and find my motivation has returned while I slept (how amazing would that be?!). What will change my motivation is turning to and seeking Jesus more. Just like the “Shift” series we had awhile back, I need to have a shift of focus right now. I’m making less time for God when these are the times I need God the most.
Hebrews 4:16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
-Julie
