I worry. I worry a lot. You could probably say that I am the dictionary definition of a worry wart (whatever that really means). I thought I worried a lot before…then I became a mom. Oh. Boy. Luckily for my kids, my husband is level headed.
I once was told that worrying is not a thing from God, but rather trickery and mind-play from Satan himself.
Realizing that worrying is a sin was mindblowing to me. I mean if I really think about it I probably knew it was a sin. But much like white lies, occasional gossiping and speeding through yellow lights, I just brushed it off like it was no big deal.
Then God sent me the ultimate test in worry – he made me a heart mom. My son Connor was born with a Congenital Heart Defect. At 20 weeks gestation we knew he had something wrong but even after countless ultrasounds and monitoring we really wouldn’t know what we were facing until he was born.
This is when the prayer warrior inside of me really came to life. I always knew praying was good and I did try to do so every night (if I didn’t fall asleep first…oops) but when you are faced with something this big I knew I had no choice but to turn to God.
Philippians 4:6-7 says ‘ Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand’. This verse became my mantra and I called to my prayer warriors to help.’
July 29th our little man arrived and was the most precious thing I had ever seen. And much like all new moms you anticipate holding your baby right away and getting to know him. That was not my experience. Connor was immediately taken to the NICU to be monitored and before I even had a chance to hold him, was being whisked away to Children’s Mercy for close monitoring leaving me alone, baby-less and quite full of worry.
Connor was diagnosed with hypoplastic aortic arch, which is just a fancy way to say that the blood wasn’t flowing through his arch correctly. After many days of getting to know our baby, the doctors decided he would indeed need surgery. At 9 days old my husband and I handed our tiny baby over to a surgeon to fix his broken heart. It was truly up to God now.
Why do I pray? I pray because I know it works. When I asked all my friends and family and their friends and family to pray for Connor - those hundreds of prayers were heard and filled when my little guy rocked his surgery and today is a spunky 3 year old.
I pray because I know God is listening and fulfilling his plan for me. I pray because I don’t have any reason not to. I pray because when I do, I don’t worry or at least I worry a whole lot less.
Praying is something I continue to work on daily. This year, my husband and I welcomed our second heart kiddo, Nathan, into our family. Even though Nathan’s heart condition is still being monitored and unrepaired, I continue to find peace in prayer to God for him because I know He is eagerly listening and saying ‘Kristy thank you for coming to me first…finally’
I once saw a meme that said ‘ Worrying is like walking around with an umbrella waiting for it to rain’. I can’t say I don’t worry anymore, but I am certainly trying to put my umbrella away more often and use my hands to pray instead.
Kristy Smith
At-Home Study
Pray: ask God to reveal Himself to you through the scriptures, to help you receive the message He has specifically for you today.
Read: each passage twice in 2-3 different translations.
{Day 1} Matthew 6:5-14
{Day 2} Philippians 4:4-9
{Day 3} Matthew 7:7-11
{Day 4} Romans 8:22-26
{Day 5} Luke 11:1-13
Observe: What is happening? What catches your attention? What is the message of this passage?What thoughts or feelings does it provoke?
Reflect: Why do these things catch your attention? Why do you feel or think certain things from reading it?
Apply: What does this say about God? What does it say about people? What does it say about God's plan for us? What does this mean for you? How can you apply what God is saying to you?
