Functional Dysfunction

Functional dysfunction.  It’s a term I learned from Pastor Dr. Eric Mason. He says, “Functional dysfunction is when we create and live in a normal and don’t know how messy it really is.”  Months after hearing Dr. Mason’s term for the way we get comfortable living with our sins, the term functional dysfunction has stayed with me.  Why?  Because I see the reality of it in my own life.  In ways that I parent, how I interact in relationships, ways that I spend money, my every day thoughts, and ways that I spend my time all have elements of functional dysfunction.  The Bible has another word for functional dysfunction: stronghold.  You know you have a stronghold in your life when you can’t imagine life beyond the mess you’re living in.  We might read of God’s promises and hear of His peace and joy, but we’ve been knee deep in our dysfunction for so long we forget what walking on solid ground even feels like.

 I’m bringing up the topic of strongholds because it’s just downright hard to surrender them.  Here’s the good news, though; God wants to come into your stronghold.  He wants to have an encounter with you right in the middle of your functional dysfunction.  When you surrender your circumstances, attitudes, beliefs, emotions, relationships, and life to Him you start to see your functional dysfunction as an obstacle to the true freedom God is offering you through a relationship with Jesus.   Surrendering to God isn’t about finally getting it “right”, it’s about finally letting it go and handing it over to the One who promises,

“... Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”  (Matthew 28:11 MSG, emphasis added)

Heavenly Father, I want to have the faith and courage to say, take it.  Take it, it's all yours and I trust you with everything and anything.  Surrendering those areas of my life that seem to work in the temporary is hard.  They can appear so good for a while, but good apart from you is worthless. Recover my life from where I function in dysfunction.  Be my constant companion, Jesus, and teach me how to live freely and lightly. Amen.

Jena M.

Trust

It happens when it’s time to the leave park. Or when it’s nap time. Or, really, it happens whenever a toddler does not want something to end. As a result, it becomes the moment when parents decide it’s time to just pick their child up and go. 

At this point, my question is: How does my toddler know how to make himself heavier than he really is? My son weighs just shy of 30 pounds, but when he does not want to be picked up, he easily weighs in close to 50. That’s not an exaggeration. He clearly must have some sort of super power.

In these moments, I ask myself, “Why are you fighting this?” as I pant and carry a wiggling, heavy load to the car or up the stairs. And I think, “Relax and just wait until we get to your crib…” or “The minute you get into the air conditioning with your Nemo sippy cup of cold water, you’ll feel much better.” My thoughts continue, “Listen little one, don’t you get it? I have an easier way. Things are going to be better. Just trust me."

Upon reflection, I can’t help but wonder if this is how I sometimes act with my Heavenly Father? I wonder if, at times, when God is trying to talk to me, I turn myself into a toddler who wants to continue playing at the park or building my Lego house. I wonder, in my moments of resistance, am I acting as if my plans are better than His?

Instead of my voice saying, “trust me” to my child; rather, God is saying, “trust me” to His child. And His child is me. His children are all of us who believe. Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

On top of all of this, I love my children with every ounce of my being. And, if I love them more than they can comprehend, I imagine I am only catching a glimpse into the Father’s love for me. He loved us so much that He sent His son to die for us. Jesus is speaking to his disciples in John 10:11 and says, “I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays his life down for the sheep.”

Just how I long to guide my children, I am reminded that the Lord wants to guide me. Jesus promises that He has a better story for us.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

Through this reflection I am encouraged to, “Trust in His unfailing love; and to rejoice in His salvation.” Ps 13:5. I imagine that He’s telling me, “I have an easier way. Things are going to get better. Just trust me.”

This scenario is in the forefront of my mind because lately, I keep thinking about the word trust. I can’t help but feel as though God is asking me to trust Him more in certain areas of my life. This is challenging, because it certainly isn’t easy to hand the reigns over to God and let Him take control. But at the same time, it blows my mind that sometimes I feel like my plans may be better than His. But then He reminds me. He reminds me through the small details of my life, like my child not wanting to leave the park, that I can trust Him. And if I do, I will realize that He has a better story for me and in fact, His ways are better than mine. I just need to trust Him.
- Rebekah H.

Little Red Mailbox

My two youngest daughters are ages seven and nine.  They love to play, with anything itsy-bitsy.  Squeakies, pocket tablets, miniature pens, pumpkins…anything small-scale!  Last weekend, I bought a little mailbox for them; the flag actually goes up and down just like a real mailbox.  

Immediately, the girls began to use it to write each other letters, raising the flag when the next note was ready.  Every note was a communication of their love toward one another.  One of my favorites was from Aleya (age 9), to Brooke (age 7), saying, “Dear Brooke, I love you.  You are fire burning on the dance floor.”  Obviously, this was written in their own love language toward one another.  

In Matthew 18:3, Jesus says, “And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.’”  

I believe prayer is as simple as that little mailbox.  It can be fun, and in our own love language.  In John 10:27 Jesus said, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

We all have different ways of communication, and with those ways, we grow our relationships with one another.  Perhaps there’s a misconception that we need to pray in a way that is hard or exhausting.

There are many passages where Jesus goes away to pray.  One of the passages, Luke 5:16, reads “But He Himself would often slip away to the wilderness and pray.” (See also Mark 1:35, Mark 6:45-46, Luke 4:42, and Luke 6:12.)

I know that as a mother, I find time to slip away.  Sometimes, I slip away to browse purses online, or shoes.  Other times, I will use that time to spend with God, and those are truly the only times that fulfill and refuel me.

What’s great about it is that I talk to him in my own way, and he speaks to me in the way I hear him.  We are each unique, and God is a good Father.  He will show up where we invite him.  If it’s with a cup of coffee, He’s there.  If it’s in the word, He’s there.  If it is laying down in silence telling him that you’re here and listening, He’s there.  If God’s word is living and active, just like Hebrews 4:12 tells us, and there’s no “formula” to prayer, or spending time with God, couldn’t it be through a little red mailbox?  

- Jennifer G.

Good News

What would be good news to you right now?  Maybe a piece of mail stating an anonymous donor had paid off your mortgage?  Your good news could be from a certain someone calling to say how much they love you and are sorry they ever hurt you in the past.  Even something as simple as an invitation to coffee can be good news to a lonely newcomer. Good news comes in all shapes and sizes depending on the needs of receiver. 

Jesus has this amazing superpower to know our exact needs and He knows they can all be thrown into the pot and boiled down into one foundational, life-changing need.  Here it is…

Mark 1:15- "The time has come," he said. "The kingdom of God is near. Repent and believe the good news!"
Jesus had just spent 40 days being tempted by Satan in the desert.  He knew firsthand that the good news He was offering was the only soul-satisfying remedy to the sins of this world.  He had experienced temptation and saw through the empty lies we’re fed as truth and cut to the chase, not mincing words on what “good news” is to a dying world.

“The kingdom of God is near.”  Think about that for a moment.  God’s eternal, death-defying, merciful, heart-seeing, purposeful, forgiving, all powerful kingdom is at hand, near, close to you through Jesus. Then Jesus goes on to list 236 ways to follow Him and live up to his standards, right?  Nope, not even close.  Jesus says, “Repent and believe the good news.”  I don’t know about you, but just the simplicity of Jesus’ invitation is good news to me.   

We’re going to be looking at Repentance this week.  It’s going to be challenging because we all hide and run from sin, but I pray you’ll hear Jesus’ clear, simple words in the midst of the challenge and know He is the Good News you’ve been searching for.

Click here for the handout for Frann's teaching on Repentance.
Jena M.

Families that Dine Together

What defines family?  Or better yet, what defines your family?

As a family, we have experienced a gamut of stages.  Yes, your typical small children stage and the such, but also the “kids involved in 2 sports, 2 clubs,  scouts, and youth group” stage as well as the “yes, I can help with everything” stage.  So, throughout the years our family could be defined as: busy, preoccupied, rushed, involved, spread thin, and (my favorite, which still occasionally applies) divide and conquer.  Repeatedly, my husband and I engaged in the discussion of our pace and over committing.  I’m certain we aren’t alone in this.

Eating dinner together as a family has always been on the priority list for us.  Granted, seasons existed (and still do) when it hasn’t happened as often as we would have liked.  Currently, we’re blessed to be in a season where this happens at least 5 times a week.  As much of a gift as it may be for all of us to be around the table, sometimes there’s not a lot of presence.  Sometimes I wonder why I even bother when it seems I spend the entire time coaxing my 8 year old to eat, attempting to ask my teenager questions that cannot be answered with just a grunt, and giving my husband “the look” to put his phone away.  

Yes, I want one of the things that defines my family to be that we eat together, but I want it to be much more than that also.  Recently the youth ministry taught a series of Sundays on family.  The topics for these Sundays included pray, play, serve, and finally eat.  Each one a great stand alone activity, but realizing the family dinners in my mind included all of them caused a paradigm shift.  Every meal won’t be mission realized, but once a week or two we have a meal that’s “set apart” from the rest.  I purposely fix favorite foods to eat, the table is set with fancy china and candles, we take the time to not only shoot up a prayer of thanks for our food, but thanks for one another, and we go around the table sharing our roses (successes, highlights, moments of joy), our thorns (struggles - not complaints or attacks), and our buds (things we’re looking forward to).  Life slows and our true riches return to glitter and shine.  

My three “boys” fully engage.  Because this meal is set apart from the rest, it’s easy for them to see how I am serving them.  They feel special and honored.  The bonus is how this meal sets the tone for our everyday meals in between.  Opportunities for them to serve, a time set apart, a time for engagement and presence, and a time for prayer creates an environment where play naturally happens.  

Do I still end up coaxing the 8 year old to eat, attempting to get the teenager to do more than grunt, and encouraging the cell phone be put away? Yes!  Does it happen less often and with a greater understanding of the family culture we’re trying to create?  Yes!  We want to be a family who plays together, prays together, serves together, and eating together helps us do that.  We’re starting around our table and reaching out from there.

- Nanette H.

Holey Punkins!

In the spirit of the season, head on over to Eat Your Peas Please!, the blog of our very own Amanda W., to read about her awesome pumpkin carving project and a yummy recipe for pumpkin seeds.  Such a creative take on the carved pumpkin - and who wouldn't want to use power tools!

Believing Like David

On page 87 in our Chase study Jennie Allen writes,
"The enormous promise of an eternal kingdom that God makes to David is a beautiful promise and we get to be a part of it through Christ.  We are blessed to be on this side of the cross, looking back on the redeeming work of Christ rather than waiting in expectation of it. The hope of the world has always been and always will be Jesus Christ."

God made a covenant with David in 2 Samuel 7: 1-17 that his kingdom would be eternal.  As I try to put myself in David's shoes, I just cannot imagine how I'd respond to that news...

"And your house and your kingdom shall be made sure forever before me. Your throne shall be established forever" (verse 16)

Starting in verse 18 we get to see into the heart of a humble, servant-king as David responds to God and shows his belief in the promises unseen. Take a few minutes to read through 2 Samuel 7 to see how God points to a coming Christ, an eternal kingdom, and how David's belief shines through his response to God. 

This week in Mothers Together we're going to be looking at several Bible verses that reinforce this mighty act of belief.  Here is this week's handout on our Belief teaching by Frann Wohlers.  I am praying God brings about a stronger faith in you to truly believe His promises are for you, His daughter.  

Jena M.