Inside my Sermon Journal

I try to be an open book. I love authenticity in others through stories from life. Real life. Not Pinterest life, which is fun, but the unscripted connections we make sharing the ins and outs of our days. So, I’m letting you inside today, literally, of a fairly new habit I started September 2014 by browsing through the Heartland bookstore. 

I swear this journal chose me. One touch of its textured fabric cover and I knew we were meant to spend Sunday mornings together. I plopped in a lobby couch and dug through my purse for a pen. No pen. Not one. Any given day I could find a handful of pens, but not today. Ok, God, what are you trying to tell me? Without thinking too much I got on my feet and borrowed a pen from the welcome center. Maybe it seems strange that this seemingly insignificant moment has stuck with me over a year, but I found a simple message in it to be humble and ask for help when I don’t have what I need.  With that borrowed pen in hand, the words flowed. My sermon journal had begun.  

Church has become a scavenger hunt of the words I need most or words I may need later. The journal is a woven treasure map I can reread, reflect with, and sometimes use as a calming coloring book. Inspirational doodling.  It’s changed the way I listen in church and in life. I am on a hunt for words and phrases that stick and move me forward. Power in a pen. Sermon journaling has helped me listen…really listen to Jesus like the friend I consider Him to be.  

Sermon journal is something you can’t mess up as long as you resist the urge to write down your shopping list. There’s no format. There’s no structure. Just you and Him…and the amazing pastor who’s speaking that week. Write down the thoughts swirling in your brain, the song lyrics that echo in your mind from our talented band, names for prayer, or prayers themselves. Ask questions, make comments, react, wonder, think, pause, and reflect.  Then revisit each page from time to time. 

I love to write, so it makes perfect sense for me to love and learn about Jesus through a gift He gave me.  And, by gift, I am not claiming to be good at it…but it brings out the good in me. Writing may not be your thing, but something is. What gift have you been given that brings out the good in you?  Whatever it is, invite Him to do it with you. 

~ Shelisa Welde

Fancy Doorbells

I wanted a fancy doorbell.  Not the kind that greeted you with a ding dong.  Did I mention no ding dong? Believe me I mentioned it.  There is no doubt the 20 times I repeated that important detail was beginning to sound like a recorded message in my husband’s ear!   I wanted the kind that sang 50 songs ranging from Happy Birthday to the Halleluiah Chorus!

 My hubby and I went to our local hardware store in search of the perfect doorbell.  When we found it we stood on that aisle for at least 30 minutes looking it over, reading the box comparing all the other less than adequate candidates and then thoroughly going over the fact that THIS was the ONE!!   I couldn’t have made it any clearer if I had written it with a marker on my forehead.  It was

easy to remember because it was outnumbered by plain, generic ding dong doorbells.  It boasted that it would “change for any holiday” and that “ringing your bell would never be the same!”   I was a little too excited dreaming of the possibilities.   I felt good about our time spent and the fact that he had held it is his hands and had seen firsthand, which one I had chosen.  

 The day was here that would change my life with the push of a button!  The family was all gathered around for the occasion.  You know how it is when you’ve been told you are getting something ahead of time?  Something that you’ve been granted and just need to wait until it’s delivery into your sweaty little hands and the “go ahead” to open it.  That’s right where I was when the unbelievable happened.  No really, the unbelievable.  I opened up my gift that I thought was the chosen, innovative, expressive chiming doorbell that would serenade our guests with song, only to discover, with what I’m sure was a look of appalling disbelief on my face, that what sat in front of me was not the doorbell we had found, discussed, researched and decided on but a regular doorbell that went ding dong.  

 I’m certain my reaction shocked those around me that weren’t fully informed with the process that had taken place, the agreement that had been made regarding this gift.  Why had my husband completely disregarded my feelings, my request, his promise?   I hadn’t only mentioned the doorbell in conversation or alluded to the hope of getting one.  He had been given all the information he needed and still forgot or chose not to purchase it.  How had this happened?   

 As I reflect on this confusing event, I am reminded of the verse James 1:24 “ Anyone who listens to the Word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like.”  This is what he had done.  He had forgotten.  Or had he chosen not to believe?  Believe that my words were truth.

 How many times have I done this same thing?  Know, believe, even experience something and then forget.  I am reminded of truth and refuse to obey it.  I experience joy and then let the enemy drag me into the pit of despair.  I sing praises with my mouth and curse someone the next.  Am I any different than my husband who purchased the wrong doorbell or the one who looks at their face in the mirror only to walk away and forget what they look like, forget the truth?

 When we look into the mirror do we see the one of a kind treasure that we are or do we compare ourselves with those around us and feel plain and ordinary with nothing to offer?  Do we feel like the ordinary doorbell with only a simple song to sing?  A song that doesn’t quite measure up with the other notes ringing out around us.  Are we forgetting that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, just as we are?  

His Spirit fills the hidden places of our hearts, speaking truth and love into our very existence.   In Psalm 139: 14-15 we are reminded of our worth, uniquely woven by the hand of God, “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.  Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.  My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of  the earth.                                        

We were intended for a purpose exactly the way we were designed.  We have a one of a kind flair and that is beautiful.  God purposefully created each of us with our own song.  It is a song that only we can sing.  It isn’t sitting on the shelf at a hardware store beside 20 others just like it, waiting to be purchased and placed in our home just like our neighbor.  It is hidden in the depths of our soul, on the pages of our heart and in each breathtaking detail that makes us, us.  Not them, not her, but us.  

We are God’s creativity in motion.  We are anything but random and nothing close to a copy.  If we can see ourselves through the heartbeat of Jesus, the way He sees us, we will learn to remember.  Remember our worth.  I am thankful that when I forget, He gives me grace.  More grace than I give others.  More grace than I gave my husband. 

 My husband immediately went back to our local hardware store and exchanged the doorbell for the one I had wanted.  It wasn’t long after it had been put in its proper place that it broke.  It has been years now that instead of ringing through our home with a beautiful melody, it chokes out a few broken chords each time it is called upon.  Somehow it hasn’t been replaced.  It serves as a reminder that even broken, we can be used.  When we are less, Christ is more.  He uses our broken offerings and the imperfect song in our hearts for His glory. 

 If I could have had a say in what gifts I was given I would have chosen to sing like a bird.  Instead I will be content to barely carry a tune and sing a joyful noise to the Lord.  I would have chosen to be the extraordinary doorbell with a song that rings glorious throughout the house but in some ways I am the ding dong doorbell at best and I am at ease with that.  Each has a story to tell.  

 May God open our eyes to see ourselves the way He does.  May we desire the gifts we have been gifted and feel the gentle draw to embrace them only to give them away.   We need not search for a doorbell that sings 50 songs, we need only to sing our song, our way and have faith that it will serenade the hearts of those who hear it.

Debbie K.

A Purpose for Today

My tween has been thinking a lot (too much) about her life purpose...as in her LIFE purpose. That makes me really evaluate where I am in my mid-life purpose (read "crisis"). My first reaction is to tell her to stop thinking about it and go play. Then I take a deep breath and see the emergence of a very young woman looking back at me. My gut reaction to this question is simple. Love others. Done. Life purpose complete. But, this didn't quite satisfy her. Time went on and the question came back. While I still personally stick to the love answer, I realized something.

We're asking the wrong question. The question isn't "What's my life purpose?" That's too stressful. The question is simply "How can I be purposeful today?" 

Kids need to grow up hearing about the MANY...MILLIONS....of purposes they will have in their lives. Being purposeful is organic and ever-changing. When we ask "How can I be purposeful today?" we can think of specific answers...contributions...reasons...even timelines to be purposeful. We have more control with being purposeful each day instead of swimming in daily uncertainty if we are progressing with one life purpose. Some days we all rock out some purpose. Other days we're slugs. That's normal. The slug days have their own purpose. Rest. Recharge. Reboot. Slugs are slow but they are still moving. Slime and all.

Purposeful may feel big one day and minuscule the very next morning. Purposeful may take the shape of changing someone's life or just changing the trash to help the good of the home. Purposeful may be looking out for a new kid at school only to give space when he/she is connecting with a different group of friends. The coolest part of living a purposeful life vs living out one life purpose, is the power to define and redefine and grow and change and well, be human...aka...less pressure.

While we're rethinking questions...I've always cringed when little kids are asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Can we all agree to save that for high schoolers? Instead let's ask, "What are your hobbies?" or "What makes you laugh?" or "Tell me how you've been kind or helpful today" or, if they're feeling adventurous, maybe talk goals for the quarter or grade level. Goals are good, career choices at age 8 are not.  When our kids are asked "What do you want to be when you grow up?", let's help them find bigger, more purposeful answers...."happy, loved, kind, wise...etc" or "I'm exploring my options".

Parenting is tough for 9,377 reasons...one of which is teaching our kids to not only ask questions, but to ask the best questions. And, to not be afraid to change their question when the answers just don't feel right. Most answers are not a one size fits all...neither are the questions.

Whether you are parenting or grandparenting or mentoring or sistering or friending or strangering, pay attention to the questions you are asking others and the questions you are asking yourself. If there's a question bugging you, like my daughter, consider modifying your question and see where it leads you.

With much love and a little sluggishness,

Shelisa Welde

The Lord is my Homemaker

Every once in a while, we experience a watershed moment.  This summer, Isaac Anderson gave a sermon at Heartland about our longing for purpose.  After chronicling his own ups and downs, he led us to look at the life of David, who though King and leader of Israel, wrote his most beautiful and possibly well known psalm from his years as a shepherd.  It was there, in his mundane, lonely experience of tending sheep, David glimpsed most clearly who God is.

Which got me thinking; where have I seen God most profoundly in my life?  Regardless of what I set out to be or hope to become, where have I landed, and what has God shown me in my mundane, regular, sometimes solitary place? As much as I’d like to pretend otherwise, it would be as a homemaker, a housewife, a CEO of a household.  However I need to dress it up to make it sound more significant, more ambitious, then I sometimes fear it’s not, bottom line is, I have seen the Lord as I’ve cared for the needs of my family. And this is what I’ve learned…

The Lord is my Homemaker, I shall not be alone.  

He makes me lie down when I am tired, and sings me safely to sleep.

He provides all I need, be it food or clean clothes or shelter from the outside world.

He runs errands on my behalf, relentlessly chasing my scurry away.

He picks up my messes and covers my slack,

He assigns me chores.

He makes plans and play dates and keeps my schedule running in his direction.  

He reminds me I am loved.

He watches over me, sharing wisdom when I’m wounded or simply at a loss.

He gives me people to practice patience and unkind circumstances to develop joy.

He leads me on adventures, making each of my footsteps firm.

He allows ambiguity, answering questions in order of importance.

He commits to me in failure, so I learn to embrace grace.  He forgives me, and we move on.

He secures my heart through disappointment, unwinding tangled strings.

He prepares me for my days, the one about to begin, and the one that seems so faraway.

He calculates my growth, knowing what maturity will cost.

He calls me by name, assuring me I am his when storms or my hormones rage.

He dreams big for me.  Honing my skills and developing talent; all that I desire, all that I enjoy, he never misses even one opportunity.

He helps me. He consoles me.  He listens to me.  He encourages me.

He delights in me and the interests we share.  

He pursues me exactly.

He smiles when I laugh, intercedes when I cry, corrects when I rebel.

The Lord is my homemaker, I shall not be alone. 

I wouldn’t trade any of life’s loftier goals, for that of knowing Christ in the everydayness of life. 

~Elizabeth D.

Not Yet Finished

One of my biggest guilty pleasures during naptime these days is watching HGTV on Netflix. I look forward to those precious minutes each day where I can sit on the couch, in a quiet house, eat my lunch and just watch those designers, handymen and realtors work their magic.  There is something deeply therapeutic about watching something old have new vision and life breathed into it.  I never tire of seeing the evidence of how these seemingly hopeless and broken down spaces can absolutely become beautiful, useful and purposeful again. 

The imagery is not lost on me when I stop to ponder why these shows about renovation, restoration, fixing up and renewal so deeply resonate with me.  Sure my heart loves beauty, my spirit loves working to make a house into a home, but more than that, I personally know what it feels like to feel a bit run down, broken and a long way from beautiful.

It was not so long ago that I felt lost, alone, and without hope for my future.  Earlier in our marriage, we lost our first child, weathered the loss of stability due to several job changes, and later after the birth of our second child, we lost our fertility.  It was during those darkest days that I felt myself begin to also lose my faith as we struggled to build our family and the life we had imagined for ourselves.  In my darkest, most broken days I struggled in my ability to see God working and moving in my life for the good.  I felt the way I imagine a run-down, abandoned, ramshackle house looks:  forgotten, empty, hopeless, unworthy and unlovable.

Thankfully, we serve a God who never abandons us. His word says in Deuteronomy 31:8, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”  During my time of struggle, I was continually reminded through His word and by my close circle of friends around me that His plan for me was not finished.  While it felt like the walls of my life were crumbling down, I meditated on the truth of how He is constantly working in and through us to renew and restore us for His glory.  Although most days I could not feel it, I knew and believed this to be true.  He is constantly working to bring back life where there was none; bringing beauty from ashes.  It is His specialty.  His word says in Isaiah 43:19, “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”   

Our God is in the business of making all things new again and I am living proof.  God has done what I felt was impossible and restored my heart to life.  I no longer feel only disappointment, hopelessness and unworthiness as I walk through my days.  He has accomplished in my heart what no miracle-working designer on HGTV could ever do:  He has renovated and restored the rooms of my heart and the vision of my eyes.  And from the perspective of someone who lived through the desolation days, the rooms and the view are lovely beyond expression. 

I marvel at where I am now compared to where I once was.  I now know that our God, the Master Creator, has a vision for our lives more beautiful and awe-inspiring than anything we could ever dream up or find on HGTV.  It is still fun to watch those gifted designers, handymen and realtors use their incredible talents, but despite all of the miracle “before and afters” they pull off for the cameras, I know they have nothing on our God.

Sarah L. 

Spurred On

Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshipping together as some do but spurring each other on, especially as we see the big Day approaching.  Hebrews 10:24-25

Almost every night of my boy’s lives, I’ve prayed that they would spur one another on toward love and good deeds…and in my mother’s heart I’d add…more than they spur each other toward rascally antics or crazy dares. They’ve also heard me say more than once, “friends will come and go, but you’ve always got your bro.”  

My point being, don’t take for granted the gift that is right in front of you, even if there’s no way in Hades you’d ever call it “a gift” to have an annoying, overbearing, space-invading brother constantly messing with your life.  One day, you will.

Of course I want them to value friendships and loyalty and experiencing life with other people - they do - our whole family does.  But what I’m hoping to convey is, while growing up in our household, the one thing they know will be constant is each other…on vacations, on dreary winter days, in times of transition and upheaval - whatever it is and wherever we go - they have each other.  So treasure, preserve, nurture what you know you have.

My sweet sisters, life moves us along on differing paths, in various places, through varying degrees of hard and wonderful things. I dare say each of our lives look vastly different now than they did the first day we took hold of our salvation and Jesus became real to us.  Perhaps he prayed for us as well…to consider how we can spur one another on toward love and good deeds…because life was about to blow and we had no idea what the next 10, 20, 30 years would bring.  But He did and He does.  I hear him say to us,  

Don’t take Me, made real to you, for granted…even during seasons when theres no way you’d call it “a gift” to trust Me, (because your circumstances haven’t changed), to believe Me, (because lies have gone from whispers to screams inside your head), to follow Me, (because taking up your cross feels less like redemption and more like conscious work)… whatever has or hasn’t happened, I am still real, I am still Me and I am still yours and you are mine. 

One glorious Day when everything is made new, you will look on Me…for real… in all My majesty and grace, and it will be worth it.  I have not changed.  I do not lie.  I carry your cross alongside you.  I am that good - don’t be afraid to trust Me.  I am that able - don’t be afraid to believe Me.  Remember, remember, remember.  Remember the First day to hold on till the last Day; to be spurred on toward love and good deeds, trust and belief, on this day.  

~Elizabeth D. 

A New Season for Heartland Women's Blog

Autumn has arrived! What's your favorite part about the changing season? I really look forward to Trader Joe's pumpkin butter and pumpkin pancake mix each year. Last year I stocked up and didn't run out of pumpkin pancake mix until June. It was worth every bit of used up shelf space the eight boxes consumed. Does anyone else love the glow and scent of a burning autumn candle inside when leaves are dropping in the chilled breezes outside? It's the little things, right?

There's more good news to the start of fall than the return of pumpkin flavored everything (and Royals baseball), it happens to be a brand new blogging season for us at Heartland Women's Blog! We rested our words all summer and now we're back in the full swing of a blogging year ready to share our faith journeys with you, our awesome readers. We have several amazing contributors returning for another season of writing, and some new writers with stories we cannot wait for you to experience.

Hebrews 10:23-24 is our year's theme verse and we hope you join us in taking God at His Word while we, "...hold tightly without wavering to the hope we affirm, for God can be trusted to keep his promise. Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works." 

This blog is geared for all women from every season of faith and life. We hope our words encourage and inspire you to seek an authentic and personal relationship with Jesus. We also pray you are blessed to hear how other women, just like you, are living out their faith one day at a time; grace by grace. We hope you enjoy your time with us at HWB and visit often!

 Jena M.