It feels a little late to be declaring my word of the year, and maybe the time to talk about it has past, but I’ve always been a bit behind the curve when it comes to trendiness. My “word of the year” heritage can be directly traced to Jena and Wendy, as I’m sure many can be. Without digging through years of journals, I think this has been a 4-5 year tradition of spending time in prayer and meditation asking God for a word that best represents where and how He’s calling me to lean in and grow closer to Him. I remember it being quite difficult at first. Praying, talking to God, and crying out for help, were all things I felt I could do, but listening and hearing from God was NOT. It felt awkward. I was not very confident about my ability to hear or interpret correctly. Thankfully, I was in the midst of building relationships with godly women and learning to sift through and find God’s Truth for me.
As memory serves, my word often starts to appear in November and by the start of the new year, God had provided numerous affirmations to ensure certainty in my word.
This time it happened differently. My “word” hadn’t whispered, in fact the idea of my “word of the year” hadn’t even entered my consciousness until shortly before Christmas. Someone mentioned something about their “word of the year” and the panic fell upon me quickly. How could I start a new year without a new word?
Then my 9yr old son approached, tugging on my sleeve, asking what must have been a very important question and my word problem was quickly forgotten. Then in the high school youth service Steve had us reading and discussing Matthew 6, where Jesus tells us not to worry about things like food and clothing. Saying if God cares for the wild flowers and the birds then wouldn’t He attend to us?
30-33 “If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don’t you think he’ll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I’m trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.
34 “Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don’t get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes. Matthew 6:30-34 MSG
Great stuff, right? But exactly how I’ve shown it above is how it appeared to me. When the passage was read aloud, the word steep was louder than all the others and it felt full. Full, like with weight, or loaded. We pressed into the passage more during our time together, but when I left, the word steep accompanied me. Could this be my word? If so, what did it mean? To be honest, I feel like I already steep my life in God. Sure, I often need reminders of His truth and I’m far from perfect, but I’ve established my quiet time, I am aware and observe Sabbath time. The predictable patterns and rhythms I’ve established didn’t seem to be what this word was indicating.
On top of that, I still felt very attached to my word of 2014 - ready. Actually, that word kept being used in phrases to me, “be ready”, “already ready”, and “all ready already”. In 2014, I felt called to respond with a yes when it felt God was calling me up to do something. This did not mean saying yes to everything for fear I would make a mistake and miss something He was calling me to. It meant saying yes when I was sure it was Him, but unsure of myself.
Well 2014 ended and 2015 began with me still sitting in the tension between these words, unable to fully release or accept either.
Happening alongside all of this our family has been rallying around my 9yr old son Garrett, who has been struggling greatly with school. The idea and the research into homeschooling began last September, and for many reasons we waited. I hoped and prayed the winter break would help, but within days of returning to school it obviously hadn’t. With a mixture of fear, trembling, hope, and prayer we ventured into the family of homeschoolers.
With this change came many others, and some clarity came to my “word”. My predictable rhythms have changed and I’ve had to create new space and times to ensure I’m steeping in God’s word and truth. The word steep also calls to mind tea. When tea steeps it actually doesn’t do anything, the hot water draws out all the goodness from it. Maybe that’s what it means for me, don’t go look for more to do, just let the the living water draw out the goodness in me.
I love tea, particularly in the evening, cozy in my pjs, settled in for some quiet reading, at home. At home. Well this obviously is a season of unknown duration where I’m being called at home in new and challenging ways!
What’s the point of me sharing this story? Upon reflection, I can’t help but see all the miracles God placed in my life to create this story, and I had to edit many of them out! The people He’s brought into my life, the invitation to learn from those further along in the journey, the challenge to love and follow Jesus with everything, and the intimate ways He loves me through it all. The point then is to share God’s story, the story He’s writing through me, the story I’m finding myself in. What’s your story? Praise and worship God by sharing what He’s doing in your life with others.
